Why you shouldn't smoke...

...The Zombie Squirrel Apocalypse is almost upon us!!! Now, you might be a bit confused. This is understandable because you have been indoctrinated by tv, movies and public education that the zombie apocalypse would be driven by the human's natural instinct for brains. That's right, natural because every human has this desire but has the common sense to not crush any skulls. But in the end it will be the squirrels that usher in the end of mankind. At least they will try to since some humans will be immune and flat out ignored by the squirrels. Their apparent blood lust will not be for the erythrocytes but for the nicotine coursing through their veins.

Squirrels have been introduced to an unnatural source of toxins and stimulates that would otherwise be avoided if not for the human's presentation of them. Cigarettes are left lying around wrapped up as brown paper packages. This situation has caused an unnatural addiction to nicotine that is only building as smokers leave about the butts to their cigarettes. Soon squirrels will be thirsting for that nicotine and will quickly realize that nicotine is everywhere in the bodies of smokers. Their nicotine lust will turn into a type of bloodlust and smokers everywhere will hewn down by vicious teeth and stone sharpen claws of the sciurus carolinensis. Mean while 34% of the world will be quickly destroyed, including 54% of Chinese doctors. With so much carnage humankind will suffer. But still the non-smokers should survive and that is because of good life choices.

This PSA has been brought to you by PETS, People for the Ethical Treatment of Squirrels